Both personal development and personal improvement deal with growth or expansion. Yet they are two different viewpoints. Personal development is a horizontal viewpoint, while personal improvement is a vertical viewpoint. With the first, you are looking at the horizon, and with the second, at the stars. Clearly, the two complement each other. But they should not be confused.
When you read an article or a book about making your life better, ask yourself whether it is talking about adding a new capability or direction to your life (personal development) or about how you can do what you are already doing, but better (personal improvement). The answer to this question matters, because each viewpoint needs a different attitude in order to succeed.
Personal development needs an adventurous attitude, with some courage on the side. Say, for instance, you decide you want to increase your self-confidence. You’re tired of being shy, and want to feel comfortable in groups. Treating this undertaking as anything but an adventure will get you not very far, not very fast.
Adventures are full of risk, and possible injury, and the unknown. They include blind alleys and monsters and heroes and villains. Above all, adventures take place in unfamiliar territory. And therein lies the secret to not only surviving the adventure, but gaining the prize at the end.
Increase familiarity with the territory. That is the essence of personal development. Enter a new, unfamiliar territory, and become familiar with it. It takes time, and you will stub your toes on unfamiliar rocks once in a while, or step into quicksand, but the faster you can become familiar with the territory, the closer you are to owning the prize.
To use the self-confidence example, you know the prize is out there, of being able to speak easily with others, and to feel comfortable in any situation. Dozens of articles and books give advice on how to reach that prize. So, pick one that seems to make sense, and try it. Give it a good, honest try, and see if it works for you. Some will, some won’t, but the only way to find out is to try. Try another, and another. Be ready for the lumps of embarrassment when one doesn’t work, but also be ready for the glorious feeling of finding one that moves you closer to the prize.
Personal improvement, on the other hand, needs a quality attitude. A quality attitude boils down to one simple premise: making things better is a good thing to do. When you fully understand that, and live by it, personal improvement follows as surely as day follows night. Any and every aspect of life bows to the power of that attitude.
It seems so obvious, but it is not. Very, very few people apply that attitude with any consistency or regularity. It is one of those ideas that everyone agrees with, but almost no one considers as a guiding principle. They haven’t looked at the corollary, the logical conclusion, of that attitude: making things worse is not a good thing to do. And most of all, they haven’t looked at the fact that those are the only two choices.
It is a fool’s errand to try to make things the same, or keep them the same. The universe will only allow that for a very short time, before some random factor will come slamming in to change things. Very seldom does the universe change things for your benefit; the laws of probability alone dictate against it. So if you are just trying to keep things the same, in the long run you are making them worse.
Making things better, then, is not just a good thing to do, it is a necessary thing to do. What things, you ask? All things. Every action you take, every email you write, every conversation you hold. The questions should be at the top of your mind every moment: am I doing this as well as I can? How can I do this better? How could I have done that better? What do I need to know to do my job better? Lots of questions, all looking at improvement.
It is really quite astonishing how much life can improve when you make it happen.
So there you have it, the difference between personal development and personal improvement. You can walk both roads, concentrating on one or the other at a given time, or both at the same time. But I hope you find them easier to walk, now that you have a map of each.
One last note. This article needs to be read a few times to get everything from it. Once more with an attitude of adventure, and then again with a quality attitude, trying to read it better. (Remember that phrase above, “Every action you take”? Reading is an action. End of hint.)
Posts Tagged Personal Improvement
It’s the little choices that count Each day we make hundreds of little choices that we don’t even think about Who you spend your time with What and how much your eat What time you wake up in the morning What you watch on TV How well you listen to others How you think about yourself How often you judge, criticize or complain What you think about
Unconscious Choices vs. Conscious Choices; Our brains are made to create programs of the things that we do regularly. These programs make it possible to make decisions easier and to not have to think about every detail of everything we do. But what happens is these programs take over and we never even stop to think if we have the right programs. Have you ever driven to work and realize that you have no idea how you got there? You were on auto pilot.
This happens to us many times each day and we don’t even realize it.
You get to make new choices about ANYTHING you want everyday You decide, do you want to go through your day aware and in control of your choices or let old patterns and experiences choose for you?
If you want to feel fulfilled and live your life with purpose then help others When you help improve the lives of others You add purpose and value to your life You increase your self esteem You are teaching by example You feel increased energy and success Don’t wait to help others until you feel that you are where you think you should be.
Without self belief we hesitate Have no vision or dream Without a dream there is no plan Without a plan there is no accomplishment With self belief we don’t hesitate We have confidence in the outcome We can see a future filled with unlimited potential We find fulfillment and see the best in ourselves True self belief is not the same as arrogance We get self belief in two ways As a child from our parents and others Through the repeated experience of small successes
You can achieve greater self belief if you choose to Ways you can improve self belief Create new programs through self-talk Acknowledgement Journal Schedule small tasks that you have been putting off and do them Ignore the negative opinions of others Surround yourself with those who support and believe in you Instant self belief exercise Stop, clear your mind Picture of yourself at your absolute best Repeat a few statements that works for you Example would be “I believe in myself! I can do this and I will do this! Nothing can stop me from achieving my dreams! I believe in myself!” When you repeat this statement with enthusiasm you literally deliver a barrage of chemicals to your unsuspecting brain that will put you into a high energy mode The choice to believe in yourself is completely up to you. You get to believe in yourself anytime you want to.
This is the single most powerful tool that there is. This one thing can change your life as it changed mine We live with harmful negative programs that can literally be reprogrammed This is more than hope it is a solution Remember GIGO Behavioral Scientists now know that what we store in our minds like programs are acted upon as though they are true. Even if they are false Everything you have heard, seen, done or experienced is permanently stored in your subconscious mind, word for word Your brain does not know the difference between true and false or positive and negative. It just stores and acts upon the repeated information it receives So what type of information has your brain received that you have repeated to yourself and now believe and act upon as fact?
It’s been estimated that by the time we are 18 years old we have received more than 148,000 negative messages Behavioral researchers have found that as much as 77% of all programs that we receive are negative, counterproductive, false and work against us. We receive these messages from all around us Parents TV Teachers Movies Peers Magazines Siblings Books…
Everything about you is effected by your repeated messages or programs Attitudes, skills, career, relationships, creativity, success, communication, income and anything else you can think of Our parents did the best with what they had – they unknowingly gave us the same type of programs that they received Our amazing brains Chemical and electrical processes in our brains create pathways The pathways that are the strongest are those that have been repeated The key to programming is repetition What are you choosing to repeat in your mind?
Monitor Your Self-Talk Listen to everything that you say to yourself and others Be very aware of your thoughts Keep a journal for 1 week of the types of thoughts that you notice Edit Your Thoughts and Your Words You have the ability to choose your thoughts With practice you can stop yourself the moment before you think or say anything negative You won’t change your old programs automatically it takes repetition
It took many years to create the old programs but can take just months to reprogram them Immediately replace the negative thought with a positive one Listen to Positive Self-Talk You can do this through repeating affirmations daily Listen to a recording of yourself Listen to professionally recorded CD’s
This concept expands upon controlling our self-talk More than any other personal development concept if you truly understand this you will live a happier more fulfilling life Our thoughts create our feelings Our feelings effect our actions Our actions effect our results Our results create our beliefs Our beliefs then create our thoughts and the cycle continues This concept is truly life changing because if you get this you will begin to monitor and change your thoughts which will effect everything else
Before you can transform negative thoughts and feelings, you need to become aware of them, so here’s a list of beliefs that may need updating!
Step 1• When under pressure I ……………………….………………………. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….• I often feel guilty about ………………………………………………………. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….• When ………………………. happens I stress out and feel like ………………………. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….• My Achilles’ heel (greatest weakness) is ………………………. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….• I am always trying to stop ……………………..…………. from happening. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….• When the unexpected happens I ……………………………………………………….……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….• I always try to ……………………………………………………….……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….• The biggest obstacle that stops me loving and approving of myself is ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
• What drives most of my behavior is …………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….• I am afraid of ……………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….• I seek my ……………’s approval (always / mostly / usually / occasionally)……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….• My most frequent negative / uncomfortable emotion is feeling………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….• The feeling I dislike the most is ……………………….………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….• I need to learn to ……………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….Congratulations – that took courage!
Step 2 Now that you have identified your false beliefs, go back and re-do the exerciseWrite how you would like to be. For example: When under pressure I … panic revised to When under pressure I … think about the situation calmly and ask for support.
Your attitude determines how well your day is going Your attitude is choosing how well your life is working You choose your attitude Some people are in control of their lives – while others are controlled by their lives It’s more than wearing rose colored glasses Attitude is the perspective from which you view your life. It’s how you view yourself and others and what’s happening around you in any given moment. Your attitude is the role that you choose to play each day Your attitude influences every aspect of your life Beliefs Energy Stress Emotions Thoughts Your attitude will determine how you feel about and act upon the tools that you learn in this seminar Protect your positive attitude from the negative energies of others
Be aware Check in with yourself and ask “How is my attitude?” Tell yourself “I’m going to make this a great day!” This doesn’t mean you ignore your problems, you just choose to deal with them in a more positive way Own your attitude Never let anyone determine your attitude You choose from moment to moment and in each situation who you want to be Strengthen your attitude The more you are aware of and own your attitude the more you will be in control and better able to choose your attitude in the moment It’s like building a muscle, the more you use it the better.
A clear focus of what you want creates momentum and energy It’s O.K. a lot of very bright people don’t know what they want How clear is your picture? Blurry Some idea but too general Clear and focused The more time you spend on figuring out what you want the more clarity and focus you will have Knowing what you want makes it easy to set goals Without clarity you don’t really have a target. There is no real sense of direction and no driving force behind your actions. In order to succeed you need to ask yourself some questions about what you want? When you visualize it’s important to include as much detail as possible. Be sure to include as many of your senses as possible: It’s not enough to just have an idea of what you want or to say that you know what you want. You need to take the time to visualize, in detail, what your perfect life will look like and then write it down. It’s very important in order for your subconscious mind to absorb your vision that you write it down several times and read it daily. By writing it all down and reading it daily your subconscious will start to see it as fact and this will help to align you with your perfect life. The Law of Attraction will work in your favor if you see it and feel it with emotion.
Now that you know what you want it’s time to set up a plan. “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail” Did you know that less than 3% of people actually set goals in a structured manner? “Without goals we live life by chance, instead of by choice” It’s important to set both long term and short term goals. Long term goals are your vision and short terms goals give you the path to actually get there. Write out the goal Start with, “My goal is to. . . ” Set the date that you will begin and complete the goal. You will be reviewing the process regularly . Don’t worry you can adjust the date if necessary Write out what the obstacles are to reaching your goal? (1 – 3 obstacles) This is a crucial part of achieving goals. You must look ahead to see what might stand in your way. Write out the action steps to overcome the obstacles. Do not skip this step. It is often overlooked and the reason that many people never reach their goals. Decide on a reward How will you reward yourself when you achieve your goals. Make it proportionate to the goal. Review your goal daily The more you review it the more real it will be. Each morning and evening is best. Reward Yourself for accomplishments along the way This will be your motivation along the way so don’t skip it. It could be a pat on the back or an afternoon off or a nice dinner, a massage …
“Goals are Dreams with Wings”
Your time is not as out of your control as you may think The most successful people all take control of their own time The four steps to controlling your time: Be aware of what you do with your time. Develop time awareness by asking yourself, each morning as you get ready for your day, “How can I make the best use of my time today?” Each night before going to sleep ask yourself, “What did I do with my time today?” Make time to plan your time Keep a daily, weekly and monthly schedule In less than 5 or 10 minutes a day you can plan your time and save many minutes or even hours Do what is important to you and actively avoid what is not Avoid time wasters whenever possible Take time for yourself and the things that you enjoy You can add an extra 20 – 40 hours to your month, every month That’s a half a work week Find time in your day that is wasted on things like watching TV, surfing the net, emails… Skip the news at night and get up an hour earlier
Understand why you don’t take action when you know you should When you understand what is stopping you, you can find a solution There are 5 primary reasons that people don’t take action You don’t know what to do Who does knows what to do? How can you find out what to do? You think that it’s too difficult Is it really difficult or does it just take effort? Have other people done it? Then so can you! You haven’t committed to take action Understanding the motivation behind taking action is key Why do you want to take action? What will that give you? You never really wanted to do it in the first place Go through your to do list and remove or delegate anything that you don’t really want to do. If it’s something that you HAVE to do but don’t want to then keep it on the list but write down the benefits of getting it done. Recommit Stop wasting energy worrying about the things that you don’t want to do. You fear doing things that are outside of our comfort zone Fear is a part of our human survival instinct When we fear doing something we find all kinds of other things to do first The only way to overcome the fear is to have courage and do it, then repeat it
Your entire future depends on what you dream and what you do next Make the choice to live your best life Use your mind, use your heart cherish the moments that make up your life
Choose Well Serve Others Believe in Yourself Change Your Self Talk Thoughts – Feelings – Actions – Results – Beliefs/Being Choose Your Attitude Find Your Focus Set Great GoalsTake Control of Your Time Take Action
Enjoy the Journey…
Learning Chess: Through Personal Development Training Pt 2
Knowing Who You Want To Be
By Mason Bolton III
Welcome back!
In our previous work, we constructed an inventory of your shortcomings as determined by how you feel about yourself. NOW, let us take a more expanded view of both you – AND of the person whom you want to be.
OK. Listed very neatly on your inventory, is what lies between you and your goal of being a better chess player, (as based on an honest self appraisal).
The next step entails the development of two more lists.
The first list is a profile of what a solid chess player is – to you. What are their characteristics, strengths and – yes – their weaknesses – for even a master at chess has weaknesses. Sometimes, I wonder that the most distressing thing about being a top achiever – even a world leader with millions of loyal followers – is that at the bottom of it all – you are still human – and thereby still plagued by human weaknesses. But I digress.
Using the traits table from part 1 of this article – you will define your ideal chess player. That is – whom do you want to be when you grow up? Spell him out as completely as is possible and account for those things you admire about great chess players – and for those that you do not. If the table below does not completely meet your needs, add additional information as you require to complete your list.
This step really is the only way to obtain a comprehensive list of a chess player’s characteristics for you to take on. There is no one-size-fits-all chart that you can employ to nail down the “chess player personality”. The fact is that there are 45 million chess players in the United States alone – and ALL of them have different personalities.
Therefore, we don’t try to chase EVERYTHING that a chess player can be. Let us instead go after those elements of a chess player’s character which YOU have noted that you would like to instill in your own chess play. Just as you have your idea of a dream girl (or guy) you also have your own idea of a dream chess player. You are not attempting to become a particular chess player. Somebody already owns that identity. You are attempting to become the chess player that you want to be. This exercise will help you to determine what that chess player looks like.
Once you have that table ready – you will build your second profile. This one correlates your strengths and weaknesses to that of your ideal chess player. Use your self-honesty appraisal to note (with a check mark) those things that you feel that you and a great chess player have in common. Then, note in a separate list, the areas from your self appraisal where you feel that you fell short (having no check mark).
When you are done, you will have one list – with items that you know need fixing (as taken from Table 1) – and with items that you feel need fixing (from your own self-honesty appraisal). Both are equally important.
With that – we are now armed with the material required to build our wish list for building ourselves into the monster chess player that we want to be. By now, some of you are getting REALLY depressed about the work that you are being put to. If this be you, then there are two things that you should remember.
1. When these lists are made – 90% of the work will be done.
…and
2. You are building a plan – the most important part of any endeavor. Once you have a credible plan of action – you can, at least, anticipate success. Nothing is ever guaranteed to succeed – but embarking on a task without a plan is a sure-fire way to guarantee failure. So take heart. This is good work you are doing.
OK. Time to go to work! Use the inventory checklist from part 1 to help guide you through building the two profiles. Build your self-honesty assessment first, followed by your chess player’s personality profile. Compile them into one list of flaws that you need to fix as described above. Then let’s meet back here to build a task list.
This article will outline a plan that will help you find what is important to you-and how to move in the direction of success. Personal development helps you maximize your potential in every area of your life. If you want to identify areas in your life, set goals and achieve them, follow the outline below.
First, it is important to determine the key areas that need development. This will require that you take some time to really reflect on your life: what are your dreams, goals and aspirations? Write down the top five key areas in your life that mean the most to you. Once you know what is important- you can determine if there is anything standing in your way of improving in those areas. Ask yourself: is there any room for improvement in this area? What is standing in my way of improving in this area? For example: if one of your top five goals is enjoying your occupation, make a list of what is preventing you from your enjoyment: is it the actual work? Is it the fact that you do not actually know what you want to do-you lack focus? Or is it that it just takes too much time away from your family? The answers to the questions will help you realize areas for personal development. I would suggest making a list of the areas of key improvement (top five) and keep it handy so you can refer back to it.
Now that you have identified the area for improvement, find local resources that may assist you in developing in each of the areas that you have identified. Resources can be found in books, in on-line articles, blogs, tapes, seminars, workshops, etc. The important thing is that you identify at least one resource for each key area of improvement and that it is realistic that you will utilize the resource. Personal development is one of the world’s fastest growing industries, so you should have no difficulty in identifying and listing your resources.
From the resources you have found, select one or two of your key areas and write out a growth plan. This can be done on your own using your resources, or can be done by consulting a life coach or personal development professional. It is important to develop a plan that has very specific steps that are simple to follow and detailed enough to complete. Nothing feels better than being able to see progress toward your goal than actually seeing check marks next to tasks that are needed to finish a project or a plan.
The next step is the step that makes the biggest difference in your personal development and is also the step that is most neglected: set aside one hour a day to dedicate to your personal development. This does not have to be an hour all at one time. Setting time aside in the morning and in the evening–or even on your lunch hour will work, but it takes commitment. This is the time that you will be implementing your growth plan or completing a step from above. It can also be used for reflecting and reading in the area for your development.
Finally, find a mentor or a group of individuals that you can build relationships with that are also on the same path of development. This can help you grow more quickly than any other resource you may find and utilize. Relationships with other like-minded people can bring support and guidance that is beyond anything you could ever do on your own.
Be sure to apply all that you learn. Learning is only meaningful through the use of the knowledge in your life. The key is to take action. New behaviors create new results and new successes, whereas knowledge only increases your pride and doesn’t change your life. If you are looking to change your life, take a step-determine where you can apply your newly found information-and practice it. It really IS that simple.