Personal Development Planning

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Posts Tagged Self Esteem

Who else wants to discover…? The Secrets of Goal Setting and Personal Development

Dec 20

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Personal success happens when we make the right decisions at the right time. Most of us have an idea of the type of person we would like to be, but few of us take the time to turn this into a reality. A lack of perspective is often the biggest reason for this. People tend to take their lives for granted, which is a shame when we think about the good we can do for our lives when we think about them.

Having a goal is great because it injects purpose into our lives. You may already have a broad idea of a goal you would like to achieve. If this is the case, then now is the time to turn it into something specific. For instance, if you are looking to lose weight think about how much weight you would like to lose and in what time. The brain works best when it receives clear instructions. If you were asked to do something vague by your boss at work you would ask them to clarify what they mean. A specific goal is a clear instruction.

A measure of self awareness is essential in critical decision making. After all if we do not feel in control of ourselves the how can we expect to take control over our own destiny and circumstance? As with any other extreme though an extreme amount of self awareness can be detrimental. It can cause us to be too fearful of the consequences of taking action. In addition, what we shall call ‘extreme self awareness’ can lead us to being overly judgmental of our experiences and actions. So ho do we get the balance right? Well fortunately help is at hand.

Self awareness is the key to taking the correct initiative; if we are confident and honest with ourselves, then naturally it follows that we will take action that is balanced between knowledge and a desire to get things done. Rash decision making should be replaced with calm rational and decisive action. The difference between success and failure can be made in a snap decision. By being self aware you are conscious of your own skills and your limitations. It is important to not confuse confidence with arrogance.

If you are planning a new business venture make sure you have done as much research as possible. Make your goal a calculated risk. Ignorance is the enemy of success. What is even worse than ignorance is self enforced ignorance brought about by reluctance to challenge existing knowledge and looking for alternatives. Being able to find an alternative solution to a problem is what creates innovation and competition. Without this key asset we wouldn’t have different companies or products. This is why we need to maintain an open mind combined with self awareness to get your goal setting spot on.

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Personal Development Starts With Self Esteem

Dec 15

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If we want to attain any goal, achieve any aim or reach any objective we all know that we need a large amount of confidence. We need confidence in ourselves, the plan we are using and our own abilities to work that plan. However, self confidence is merely a by-product of high self esteem but do we really know what that is or how to get it?

Self esteem begins with a positive self-image. This involves holding a balanced yet loving, approving and healthy self-view. However, it is not arrogance nor is it narcissism. True self esteem gives us a balanced realistic appreciation for our own talents. It allows us honest introspection of our strengths and a complete acceptance of our human limitations. High self esteem is a reflection of the true value in which you hold yourself. It also frees you from any overtly polarised view of others and how you perceive they think of you.

Individuals with high self esteem have a strong sense of themselves. They know who they are and what they want. They have a realistic world view of others and themselves. Their self-image is positive but also very rational.

However, do not think that people with high self esteem always feel great and proud of themselves. Self esteem is about having a balanced view of yourself. Everyone makes mistakes and people with high self-esteem are no exception. They also behave in ways or make decisions that they later wish they hadn’t. The key difference with these people is that they recover quickly make the changes they need to make, apologize for their behaviour where necessary and learn from the experience. Individuals who have developed a healthy degree of self-esteem are able to use these situations as a form of feedback and learn from them. It is alright to feel bad about their behaviour and make atonement for it but they do not let it effect their entire sense of identity nor do they carry it with them as emotional baggage.

If you are rude or aggressive with a person it doesn’t mean you are a terrible person or should be punished in some way. People with high self esteem are aware of this. These people are capable to taking full responsibility for their behaviour, admitting that it was undesirable. They will then try to make the situation “right” before they learn from it and put it behind them. They do not see themselves as bad people, just a good person that made a bad mistake. However, people with low self esteem tend to pile blame on themselves and think themselves unworthy and unlovable because they are “so bad” and “so unworthy and worthless”. They think because they have behaved badly it is a reflection of the total person they are when, in fact, it is only one portion of the complex personality they have. If you have high self esteem and you exhibit behaviour you yourself don’t like you tend to work on the problem until you either eradicate it or reverse it. People with high self esteem can do this relatively easily because they don’t see a change in one aspect of their character as an assault on their whole personality! So they can still have self criticism but also have high self-esteem at the same time.

A key to being in this mental and emotional state is to avoid generalising about mistakes made by ourselves and others, recognising that our weaknesses are part of who we are, while recognising that some of our behaviour can be changed without it affecting our sense of identity!

So start to see yourself as those who love you see you. Ask them what they think. Ask them to be realistic and to point out your good characteristics. Then take stock of yourself and start to believe in yourself. You can develop the skills needed to be critical of yourself, in order to learn and grow, while at the same time realizing that you are a unique, special, loving yet slightly flawed child of the Universe. You are wonderful. Accept that!

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Personal Development = Success in Your Business!

Dec 8

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Through my experience with my network marketing company, I cannot stress enough how much my outlook has changed. Not just my outlook on finances, but my life in general. This business is about so much more than making money or even helping people: It’s about personal development. Personal development is not just a notion that ends at the conclusion of your formative years – it’s an ongoing process that will take you on a journey to discover who you are and what you really want in life.

I started my business initially because I know that someday, I want to be a stay at home mother. My fiancé works hard and is an excellent provider, however, when the time comes, I want to be able to contribute to my family’s income while raising my children. This business has made that possible for so many people– so I thought immediately, why couldn’t this happen for me? What do I really have to lose from trying vs. what could I lose if I don’t try it and it works? I didn’t want to live with that kind of regret.

This business has become even more to me now. Through the books I have read and the training sessions I have attended, I have received a much-needed boost. I can now manage to approach life’s everyday issues with a more positive mindset. It has truly changed my perspective and has allowed me to become a happier person. I have even managed to come out of my shell more – I am generally a pretty reserved person with people I do not know. However, this endeavor has allowed me to talk with more people, overcome my fear of shyness and even speak in front of groups of people when I’ve been terrified of the very idea! It’s very liberating to overcome your fears and see great things happening because of your decision.

Honestly, I had no idea that just making the decision to begin a business would impact me in such a way. I would normally hear about first time/new business owners who have payroll, inventories, tax liabilities and overhead costs that cause them to be more miserable than before (especially in this economic climate). Luckily, I don’t have to worry about those things and I’ve changed for the better (in more ways than one) because of my involvement with this business.

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Goal Setting For Personal Development

Nov 9

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The benefits of growing as a person and making constant upgrade of personality is an innate part of us as human persons. Everybody wants to grow more and more and one’s definition of personal development along with a list of personal skills, goal planning for use in your personal development is of great significance. Reaching your potential personal and professional development becomes more and more essential as time goes by as everybody wants to get better in his or her life as much as possible.
Now when thinking of one’s personal development, looking at wanting or having more with a list of personal skills does not necessarily make you better. To become a better person you need to improve inside and in reaching your potential personal and professional development quicker that you otherwise would have. You need to improve your self within you. Personal development helps one to become a productive person and the our definition of growth is one of the first things to get defined.
Taking on personal development is a serious task, to make the world a better place (reaching your potential personal and professional development) we have to begin with ourselves first. When your ideas, habits and attitudes move for the better, you could help others live their lives better. Though it sounds easy, it takes a lot of effort, goal setting and on your part. If it is so easy then why are not others trying to make better things for themselves and for society? The theory of Self-actualization discusses that in order for human beings to grow to a higher level, they have to get their basic needs fullfilled. The basic needs of a human being include: physiological, safety, acceptance or belonging, self-esteem and self-realization. Let us see why these domains are essential in helping us to become better individuals.
Man’s physiological needs are food and water– for survival. If you are starving and not having enough food and water to take care of your hunger and thirst, where would you get the energy from to think understand about becoming better person?
With personal development acceptance or a sense of belonging is another substantial need for human persons. We need understanding and love from our family and friends and tfrom the society we live in. This acceptance will make us think of doing good things for the people who understand and accept us and in that process we become a better person.
We have to ensure our personal safety above everyone else’s security. If you do not feel safe in your personal life, how can you try to bring security to others? Y
The need for self-esteem along with a list of personal skills and capacity of making things for betterment. To maintain this self-esteem and confidence, you would do good deeds to better for life.
When is comes to personal development and our lives, the truth is that you can be whoever or whatever you choose to be, if only more of us would believe and act upon this then we would not have the level of apathy and the situation we see in our community.

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Personal Development – 10 Tips on How to Get Started

Nov 1

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Are you totally happy with your life? It wouldn’t surprise me if your initial response was to ask the question “Is anyone totally happy with their life?” Fair comment. So let me rephrase the question. “Is there any area of your life right now that you are not happy with?” Is that a better question?

You may be one of the fortunate ones who can say they are happy in every area of their life. However, I bet you are like most people in our society, who are probably unhappy with one or more areas of their lives. If that is the case, let me talk to you about personal development.

Before I move on it may be useful to offer a definition of personal development. I decided to do some research on the internet and Google the term personal development. I was surprised to find that there were not really that many sites that offered a definition, although there were many adverts promoting personal development. I shouldn’t be surprised because Marketdata a research firm has estimated that the personal development industry is set to grow at a rate of 11.4 yearly through to 2010, to a value of $13.9 billion.

“Personal development is the deliberate growth or development of a particular individual to bring out their potential and capabilities making them more aware of their inner feelings, belief systems to become a more conscious, whole or healthy human being”.

I know that probably seems like a mouthful but it seemed to encompass my own thoughts about what personal development is. I decided to ask my partner to offer a definition:

“Strategies that enable me to enhance my life in all areas”

Now I do like this definition because it says what it is, simply and succinctly. The thing about personal development, is that it means different things to different people. When someone embarks on the journey of personal development, it maybe that they have chosen to improve their health, relationships, career prospects, finances etc. Sometime people talk about the mind, body and spirit, or physical, emotional and spiritual.

So how do you get started on the road to personal development? Well, first of all become aware of what you already have in your life and what you are grateful for and then think about what is missing, what do you want, I mean really want. Awareness has to come first, because without an awareness there can be no conscious decision to take action. Becoming aware also means asking yourself different questions and then seeking out the answers. So if your question is “There must be more to life than this?” your mind is already making an assumption that there is more to life and as if by magic you start to see things around you that maybe you did not notice before.

Below I have put together my top 10 strategies that I use regularly to keep myself motivated. As a bonus I contacted some of my friends within the personal development field and asked them to give me their top 3 personal development books and created a top 10 list. I hope this helps you to get started.

1. Take time everyday to do something for yourself. This is so fundamental. Many people go through their day giving of themselves to other people, their job etc. and don’t have time for themselves. Even if you give yourself 15 minutes, that is time with yourself to reflect and focus on the most important person in your life, YOU.

2. Read or listen to personal development material. You must find time to learn about personal development to read or listen to positive and inspirational messages. You could use the 15 minutes put by for yourself to read a chapter of a book. If you drive, put in a tape or CD, this is making use of net (no extra time) time.

3. Decide what you really want to do and do it. Often we think about what we want to do and make excuses as to why we can’t do it. The reality is that the time we have taken to think up excuses as to why we can’t do something, we could have done it. What have you been putting off doing? Take this opportunity to do it, clear out the clutter. Once you have done it there is space in your mind to think about other things.

4. Do not be afraid of making a mistake. You will only achieve success from doing. In history many brilliant ideas have come about because of a mistake. Don’t let fear of failure stop you from doing what you want.

5. Do not put off making a decision because you are afraid it may be the wrong one. Nothing is gained by sitting on the fence. So the sooner you make a decision, even if it is the wrong one, the sooner you can make the right one. Practise being decisive.

6. Keep a journal recording your thoughts, ideas, feelings and personal growth. Keeping a journal is a great way of measuring your progress. Looking back at your journey. It is also a great source of material for any projects you hope to do in the future. If one of your dreams is to write a book, why not start with jotting down ideas in a journal.

7. Be flexible and willing to change your approach if things are not working. Sometimes when you set your mind to do something, with a set plan, things don’t always go smoothly. Remember that as long as you are clear about your destination, you can always change your route, it may take you longer, but as long as you get there in the end.

8. Visualise your goals on a daily basis. Better still put up pictures of your goals so that you can see them on waking up and going to bed. Our minds respond better to pictures than words.

9. Get yourself and elastic band and put it around your wrist. Make sure it fits loosely. Every time you find yourself thinking a negative thought pull the elastic band and let go so that it snaps back onto your wrist. Yes, it will hurt. That is the whole idea. Keep this up for the next 30 days and notice what happens.

10. Celebrate your achievements. Award yourself for any progress that you make because you deserve it.

Sonia is a Personal Development and Success Consultant. She has been involved in the personal development industry for over 20 years primarily in the public sector. When you visit her website be sure to download the free Confidence Building ecourse and sign up for her success strategies and tools newsletter.

Sonia Harris © 2007Personal Development and Success Coach

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